Peanut Butter Icing

Have you ever been caught eating peanut butter out of the jar? I have.

I try to be sneaky. Quietly opening the pantry door so there is no squeak to alert others in the house. I grab the big, heavy tub of peanut butter and slowly unscrew the top. I smell the heavenly sweet peanut aroma and with my spoon in hand, I dive in.

This is where it gets tricky. I hear someone approaching, so with the peanut butter-filled spoon jammed into my mouth, I quickly put the lid back onto the jar and into the pantry. The thing is, one must savor the smooth peanut goodness, slowly lapping it off the spoon as one would with ice cream, and not jamming the whole amount in one's mouth. I quickly rid the spoon into the sink and try to act normal with this big scoop of peanut butter attached to the roof of my mouth.

"Mom, do you know where my dump truck is?" my little guy asks.

"Nnnn, nnnn." I hum back, with a smile on my face.

"Can you help me find it? Is it upstairs?" he replies.

I shrug and mime that he be on his way and go on upstairs to look for his truck, as he looks at me curiously.

"Mom, what are you eating?"

"Nuffin", I reply with contorted, dry mouth, urgently needing a drink to liquefy the big, dry lump stuck to the roof of my mouth.

"I smell peanut butter." he says.